he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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