Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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