And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
