I am in a vortex of obligation.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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