Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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