How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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