Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize