Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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