I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
