You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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