i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
