I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
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dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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