I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
