Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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