I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
