If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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