I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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