can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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