I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
