he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
