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• (954): View more from Florida

  i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahaha how?

  (954): View more from Florida

  its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery

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• (831): View more from California

  dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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• (916): View more from California

  The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.

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