she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
