this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
