Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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