Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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