smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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