I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
