My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
