The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
