Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
whose parrot is this?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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