Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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