ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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