Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I came so hard my ears popped.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize