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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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