I love black thongs
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
