I wanna bring you to show and tell
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
