dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
