im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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