Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need a beard to bite.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
