Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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