I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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