Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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