Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
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