You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize