Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
