She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's official drugs can't kill me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
