if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
