Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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