Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the condom got lost in my hair
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
