I want to walk on stilts...naked
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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