There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
