mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
