Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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