i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
