My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love you. Go after that dick
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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