i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
