I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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