Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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