so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life