Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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