Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
