Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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