The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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