belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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