Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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